Ok to all of my friends and family, thank you for the support. I did feel it. Today was a better day. My neighbor called and we went out for a walk and a swim and I was busy all day. Steve returned from Philadelphia and everyone is home and safe again. I do not know this process of grieving but it is true that each day is different. I want to not show the fact that I am emotional or vulnerable. I sometimes wish I had better control. I wish it did not hurt so much. I wish I could tell everyone it is getting better. It is still just a day....no a minute at a time. There are so many things that remind me of John. I think so often of what was happening one year ago. It was at that time that I realized we were in a battle for his life. Every moment was precious and I tried to record it in my memory as such. But now to recall them is painful. I really do feel that as time continues they will be good memories but for now they are still tender to the heart. The hole in my heart is still there but I can feel all of my friends pushing it in and making sure the beat goes on.
"There are many things that are essential to arriving at true peace of mind, and one of the most important is faith, which cannot be acquired without prayer. "
2 comments:
Hi Linda-as you know I looked earlier today and I became very emotional too-I can't begin to know your loss-but it grieves me to see my friend in so much pain. Somehow-I don't know how-I know all the memories will be happier and hopefully bring you peace. The saying it is better to know love and lose it is even more precious now. John was such a successful young man, a happy husband, a proud Dad, a good friend and most of all a loving son. No one can ever take those attributes away. Many are dedicated to keeping John's life in the forefront-and AJ may not remember the physical touch of being held in John's arms-but he will always have the emotional memories. My heart is so hurting right now for you-I hope you do know how many friends are gathered around you holding you close in our hearts. Hopefully you can feel some peace knowing how much we care. I am holding you extra close in my heart and prayers for the next few days-I hope you feel it.
Hey Courages brave woman!
Kim certainly spoke for how I feel as well - just so wishing to ease your pain and loss. I continue to hear in your words, though it is difficult, you are still moving forward in your journey of grief - the first year must be the most difficult. I continue to keep you and yours in my prayers and know that you will always have my complete support!!!
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