I have been waiting for it and practicing for it but it was still much harder than I had envisioned it to be.
I played golf Friday in a league that plays on different courses around the area. I have been marginally active in this league for a couple of years and have come to know several of the players from other clubs. After the round on Friday I was in the ladies room before lunch and I saw one of these acquaintances. She immediately came up and said, "How is your son doing?"
I got through "he died". She felt bad. I felt bad but what else can you do? Will these words ever get any easier? Will I ever be able to say them without tears? I knew the question would be ask and it was probably only the first time of many but it still hurts to say John died.
Life is going on as we knew it would. We are laughing and enjoying friends and family. It just hurts sometimes when the realization confronts us that we will never have John with us again.
3 comments:
I'm sorry that happened-and it was so purely innocent, asked out of true caring I am sure. It is so hard when the brain knows one thing but the heart feels another. I wish I could share your pain but we all know that is impossible. Just know how much everyone cares-feel the hugs envelope you and you will make it through those incredibly tough times. My very best thoughts are with you-I can't wait to give you a hug in person.
We saw "Mike's" Bass Outfitters-it is quite the place. Maybe he will take us for a private tour when it opens. Tell him we wish him all the best.
Oooh that must have been tough! A friend of mine at school lost her 19 year old son to bone cancer last year, and although she functions very well - tears come at times when she least expects it. Wish I could take away your grief and uncomfortable/hurtful reminders! I do have to say, I think you are doing remarkably well. The "missing" will always be there, but the moving forward, living, laughing, dealing with life - those are all purposeful decisions - and you are doing it amazingly well. Feel the comfort of those who love you! xxoo
So very, very sorry for your pain but I am proud of you for not completely collapsing on the floor of the ladies room. Somehow I have no doubt that after you "got through it," even with your own pain and tears,you turned and tried to comfort her.
I did notice that your orginal note was posted at 5:49am and do hope that you are not waking up that early on a routine basis.
Yesterday Bob asked me when I was flying up to see you for my golf lessons...and I am beginning to think in about one year. Scott had been a runaway for almost 5 weeks when he returned for less than 24 hours only to run away again. He came home last night and swears he is home for good. I honestly had gotten quite comfortable with his runaway status. I am sure we and he are in for quite a "ride" this summer.
I miss you and keep you in my daily prayers.
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